Anaconda (1997)

You really wouldn’t expect a story about a man-eating monster to be this boring.

A documentary crew floats into the Amazon rainforest in search of a good story. They rescue a stranger who temps them with the tale of a creature who will coil around you and hold you closer than the love of your life.

The early CGI makes Syfy channel originals look like technical wizardry masterworks. That said, what keeps Anaconda from going adrift in the river of forgettable flicks is Oscar winner Jon Voight. His performance is bafflingly terrible, including the use of an accent as weird and indistinguishable as Tommy Wiseau’s. One look and you just may be hypnotized…

Directed by Luis Llosa.
Starring Jon Voight, Jennifer Lopez, and Ice Cube.
89 Minutes – Rated PG-13

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