Sneak peak!

We know things have been dark around these parts for much of the year (damn school!) but your Caretakers are returning! We will see you very, very soon!

Your lately lentitudinous,
Cult Caretakers

Coming Soon:
Escape From New York
The Warriors
Last Action Hero
Last Temptation of Christ
The NeverEnding Story
History of Violence

Merry Christmas!

We wanted to wish a quick Merry Christmas to each and every fellow cultists who frequents our tiny corner of the net. We hope you’re with your family and are enjoying a good Christmas cult flick!

We will see you soon for our 2009 inductees!

3 Year Anniversary!

Tonight we party! Yes folks, today marks the third anniversary of our rebirth so watch some good cult horror flicks to celebrate with us! We will return next month with an all new string of cult flicks. Happy Halloween!

-Past the terrible 2s, bring on the tantrum 3s!, Cult Caretakers

New Look – Old Logos!

Copy of caretaker2 11111copyTo welcome in our favorite month of the year, your Caretakers are happy to present a new design and classic logos! Make sure to check out our About Us and Reviews page to see some logos from long before our 2011 rebirth.

Bring on the horror movies!

How wude!


Folks, today we bring you the one, the only, the absolute worst cult film we have had the displeasure of watching.

Before being put to the screen, the Phantom Menace had everything a movie in making could ever hope or dream for. But Mr. Lucas took all of these gifts and made a disastrously terrible film that did serious damage to the Star Wars universe as a whole. In 2002, a great disturbance of disappointment was felt from many a cultist.

Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999)

With that we officially close the bad movie bonanza! It has been a long, long several months but we enjoyed covering all the different kinds of crap cult. Check out below for a complete list and link to all of the reviewed flicks.
Bring on Halloween and some horror movies!

-Your relieved and rejoicing, Cult Caretakers

Ready to Rumble (2000)
Garbage Pail Kids Movie, The (1987)
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
Mac and Me (1988)
Over the Top (1987)
Starship Troopers (1997)
Maximum Overdrive (1986)
Robot Jox (1989)
Super Mario Bros. (1993, UK/USA)
Bio-Dome (1996)
Caligula (1979, Italy/USA)
Troll 2 (1990, Italy/USA)
Cool as Ice (1991)
Meet the Feebles (1989, New Zealand)
Con Air (1997)
No Holds Barred (1989)
Master of Disguise, The (2002)
Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
Judge Dredd (1995)
Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999)

O Manos… thou of primal darkness!

Hello folks! Halloween and our third anniversary approaches but before we delve into all that rigamarole, we have a bad movie bonanza to finish!

Our first flick had all of the ingredients to be a success but, was anything but. Maybe Sly’s motto should have been, I am above the script? Judge Dredd (1995).

Next is flick that stands in the upper echelon of the worst movies of all time. While it doesn’t quite take the crown, it will make you spread out of hands and pray to Manos for the end. Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

Only 1 remains in our bad movie bonanza…

– Your bewitched and beguiled by bad, Cult Caretakers

Now our masterpiece will never happen because we won’t be fueled by Satan!

After so, so many bad movies your beloved caretakers needed a slight break during July. But, we are happy to be back so we can begin to bring our bad movie bonanza to its, merciful, conclusion.

To start off this party we bring you one of the worst comedies we have had the displeasure of running across (let alone sitting through). Remember when Dana Carvey had a career? Well folks, this is what killed it, The Master of Disguise (2002). Next is a comedy rock group that, while their albums are great, their only foray into film was a self proclaimed stinky pile of chee (but that does not mean that their hearts are not strong). Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (2006).

Only 4 bad movies remain…

See you soon!
– Your bewitched and beguiled by bad, Cult Caretakers

You’ve proven to be a most useful mammal.

Summer is in full swing and instead of enjoying all that fresh air, heat and humidity, take a seat with a couple of pathetic cult flicks!

This first film was produced a pair of wrestling world icons who had no experience or idea what they were doing. Prepare yourself for the Battle of the Tough Guys in, No Holds Barred (1989). Next is a big budget, explosion extravaganza with a cast that many film makers would die for. While it killed at the box office, this is as bad as action gets, Con Air (1997).

The end is nigh for our unending stream of bad flicks. July will be our final month as we count down 9 more bad movies, ending with our vote for the worst film ever.

See you soon!
– Your bewitched and beguiled by bad, Cult Caretakers

Shit! I was just about to pop my cookies!

The bad beat goes on dear cultists.

Numero uno is a rap-remake of The Wild One. How bad is it? Let’s just say, Vanilla Ice ain’t no Marlon Brando, Cool as Ice (1991). Next is a film made by some very talented individuals who tapped into none of that potential. Murderous, raping puppets? Believe it! Meet the Feebles (1989, New Zealand).

Two more down, too many to go. See you later this week for another round of our bad movie bonanza!

– Your bewitched and beguiled by bad, Cult Caretakers